Frequently Asked Questions
Why practice Contemplative Prayer?
Most of us have never been formed in how to experience God as relationally present, active, and loving in our lives. Consequently, prayer feels one way, and often pointless. Consequently, our usual forms of prayer often increase our anxiety. Ultimately, the vast majority of us find ourselves practicing a sense of separation from a God who actually longs for union with each one of us. Developing the practice of "contemplation" opens the door to relationship.
What is Contemplative Prayer?
For many of us, prayer is threatening space to enter. We have tried prayer and we have tried to pray harder and better. We carry shame around prayer. Lots of it! In the west, we tend to think of things as measurable. "You are good at prayer. I am bad at prayer." "Women are good at prayer."
But, in the contemplative space, prayer is not measurable. To the contemplative, prayer is simply a way of being in the world. Rather than praying words to God, though that may likely be a part of your contemplation, we quiet ourselves. In silence, and often stillness, we notice, observe, and listen. We open our hearts, ears, and eyes with curiosity toward, "How is God present in this moment?" "How is God wanting to relate to me? To us?" "How am I relating to God?" Our prayer then flows back and forth in a relational rhythm.
What is a Contemplative Prayer "Group" (Lectio, Centering, Listening, etc.)?
It is easy to conceive, based on the description above, that contemplative prayer is an individual practice. But, contemplative prayer in group settings is a gift! Lectio groups, centering prayer groups, listening prayer groups, and silent retreats are wonderful ways to designed with both the individual and the group in mind. Group settings allow for significant time of solitude, stillness, and silence for individual contemplative practice followed by a time to come together and share, thus the "group" dynamic.
Sharing is not required and is always confidential.
People share about what their time was like. Sometimes the time is difficult or filled with distractions. Other times it is relationally rich, healing, or profound. It doesn't matter. It is all a part of the journey and sharing our journey with one anther - contemplating each other's share, helps us to understand our own path.
Where Do I Begin with Contemplative Prayer?
Whether you are considering an individual practice or a prayer group, it is important to remember that we are all "always beginning". Sure, there is a familiarity to the practice, and in a gruop format, there is the usual "getting to know you" phase, but the prayer itself is uniquely yours. There is no "right way". There is no judgement or acheivement.
Prayer is simply time spent with God and with self. St Teresa of Avila put it this way, "Prayer is nothing more than being on terms of relationship with God."
Prayer, therefor, is like spending time with someone. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes hard. Sometimes we are tired and distracted. Sometimes it is lively, exciting, and bonding. One can never say what it will be like. One can only show up.
What is the point of Contemplative Prayer?
Contemplative Prayer is merely a path to deepening relationship with God. There is no end point; no "acheivement", no goal in contemplative prayer. It is maybe better to think of seasons. Winter. Spring. Summer. Fall. All have their place in the rhythms of prayer and in the deepening of relationships.
What is "Deconstruction"?
To many, the word "deconstruction" means a losing of faith, of being lost. To many, perhaps older Christians or those with an evangelical lense, to hear that someone is going through "deconstruction" may evoke feelings of fear and anxiety.
But we have found it helpful to think about "deconstruction" as a way of sifting, of differentiating, and, hopefully coming to understand one's own faith. In most cases deconstruction is a part of maturing and a necessary step to healing.
If "Deconstruction" is good, why does it feel so bad?
The disorientation we experience in this season is profound. We find ourselves leaving a "world" that felt true, familiar, and perhaps safe. As we back up and gain perspective, we find that truth and love were not pure. We were unaware and the fact that we were unaware makes us wary of the idea that we will be safe again. It is, for many of us, as if our world turns upside down. It is as if we are holding a rope, swinging from a cliff in hopes of finding a new rope to land us safely to the other side.
The other side; a place where we are truly known and loved, and where we are free to love ourselves and love others.
Deconstruction: am I losing my faith?
We would argue that, for many, deconstruction is a necessary step to finding your faith. We make up that to many at the time of Christ, there was a lot of "deconstruction" going on; a leaving of one way of being with God and community, a leaving of one identity for a new way of being and being with God. Like deconstruction, this leaving brought with it all sorts of fear, loss, freedom, and hope; but for those who engaged it, it led to deeper intimacy with God.
How can I keep God but deconstruct my faith?
Most people we walk with who are "deconstructing" are not seeking to loose God. Rather they are seeking God while trying to shed what was not God or "of God" in their church experience. A trusted spiritual director can help you navigate this lonely road by providing a listening and non-judgemental ear, safety and encouragement.
You are not crazy, you are not bad. You are growing!
